A Music Bath

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Wasn’t Born Hustlers I Was Burpin’ em

Jay Z Unplugged (2001) is quite possibly the best live album that has ever been released. I will argue this point to the death, so don’t start with me.

Side note: Beyonce is on a very short list of people that I would kill….if it meant I had a chance with Jay Z.  I would take her out without a second thought.

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But The Way You Play Your Game Ain’t Fair

Some people say that men and women can’t really be friends. I disagree. I have a wonderful male friend with whom I have no feeling other than friendly love for and I’m sure he feels the same way (we will call him A). Last night we had a very interesting conversation about the dynamic of men and women’s relationships.

A and I have a mutual friend (M) that I have a very weird relationship with. There are feelings outside of friendship that orbit around us like flies at a picnic. We have discussed them at great length and occasionally given into them but we both know that it would never work out…or at best that our timing is horrible right now. Yet, we continue to spend retarded amounts of time together, in an attempt to torture each other…. I guess. Every time we hang out it starts out great…we have an uncanny comfortableness with each other but usually by the end of the night I’m bitter and bitchy and he’s mad. Then we end up going home together and, although we have never actually sealed the deal, either making out or arguing even more.It’s a hot mess.

I spend a lot of time trying to figure out if I am really interested in this guy or if I’m just annoyed that he isn’t head over heels for me. While A and I were talking about all of this I had a moment of clarity where I said, “I don’t even know if I really like him…I mean I like him as a friend obviously, but I mean “like him-like him”.” To which A replied..  “Abby, don’t you see? It’s all about the chase with you two. I can’t believe you are so blind! You two spend so much time chasing each other around but both of you refuse to be caught because then you know the game would be over.”

First I would dumbfounded by how simple he made it all sounds and THEN I was mad at myself for being such a cliche because I think he might be right. Is it all really a game? How is it that I’ve been dealing with it for MONTHS and I never saw that before? At the ripe old age of 31 how I do not have this shit figured out better?

I’m exhausted….

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And True Affection Floats

Why I love Pandora, Reason # 4597021. Nothing makes me happier than when Pandora hits the nail on the head with a song I’m going to LOVE.

I was out of your league….It’s an interesting idea. That some people are just better than others. We see people and we rate them, for no other reason than their physical appearance. Or we see a couple and we say, “Wow, he’s a 5 and she is a 9…he is totally playing out of his league.” Like you can tell what is best for someone just by looking at them. Like physical appearance is what makes people compatible.

Don’t get me wrong…I love a good looking guy but a lot of my best relationships have been with guys who people would probably assume that “I was out of their league.” Maybe I like feeling like the most attractive one in the relationship (who am I kidding, no maybe about it) but I usually think that you have to be opposites to really bring something different to the table. I went through a massive awkward phase and the only way to survive it was cultivate a great personality. Usually extremely good looking people are dead in the water, their personalities blow. If you get two of them together it would have to be the most boring life ever. And anyways, have you ever see a really great looking couples kids…they always turn out ugly. Who wants that??

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Beware the Curse That Falls on Young Lovers

I love this song. It reminds me of that little switch that flips in your head when you go from just knowing someone to liking them. The button that turns on all the light bulbs in their name and you brain shines bright with the thoughts of talking to them and the next time you will see them. From not giving them a second thought to giving them every other thought.  From them being just a speck in your life to the axis that your day revolves around. It’s an obsession…but in a fun way. 

That is what this song is about to me.  

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Pressure, Pushing Down on Me

I’m not going to complain about the fact that I have a job, or the fact that I am much needed in my job and have a wealth of job security….

What I AM going to complain about is the fact that everything has to happen all at once. Why can’t events, and functions, and the retarded amount of committees and board I am on all get together and look at my schedule and space things out accordingly. Rather than pile everything I say “yes” to into the same 72 hour period…why, why, why?!?!?!?!?!?

Oh yeah, I guess it’s because the world doesn’t revolve around me. Fuck. 

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They’re My Friends

Saturday night two of my best girlfriends and I made plans to go out to dinner and then let the night take us where ever it wanted. We called a cab because when you “let the night take you where ever it wants to” it’s always best to leave your car at home…just trust me on this one. While waiting for the cab and trying on everything in each other’s suitcases we managed to consume 3 bottles of wine. We were feeling (as my friend Tony the Tiger would say) GGGRRRRRREAT!

Our cab drive Tyrone was right on time; we were running about 10 minutes late. So Tyrone, who looked like a linebacker for the Steelers, was kind enough to turn on the meter and wait. By the time we got outside we had racked up $7 on the meter and were running about 15 minutes behind. Anyone who knows me knows I am obsessed with punctuality, so by the time we were piling into the cab I was getting antsy. This feeling was only aggravated by the fact that our friendly cab driver Tyrone seemed to be driving particularly slow and to my dismay hitting every red light in Downtown Indy. I was trying to have fun and ignore the clock but between my compulsion to say everything that pops in my brain and the whole bottle of wine I had consumed my smart mouth was about to get the best of me….or the worst, you can make that call.

I look at my watch and realize we are officially 25 minutes late to our reservation just as Tyrone hits another red light. This is the exact moment that I decide to utter the most “I’m a 31 year old woman that spends too much time with men and occasionly talks like a truck driving after too many Jack Daniels” comment that I have ever allowed to pass my lips - And I quote…“Tyrone…can’t you speed it up? We got drinks to buy and sluts to fuck.”

Yup folks, I said it. I have no idea where it came from and I think no one else in the cab did either. There was a moment of silence and then Tyrone busted out laughing and stated, in his questionable use of the English language, “Girl, you funny!”  As we pulled up to our destination Tyrone shoo’ed away my money and told me that I had just made his night and the cab ride was free. He also gave me his card and told me to call him the next time I needed a ride because a tiny white girl with a foul mouth was always welcome in the back of his cab.

Moral of the story?  Sometimes saying exactly what is on your mind can get you in trouble but sometimes it saves you $16.75 in cab fare and helps you make a new friend named Tyrone.