March12011
They’re My Friends
Saturday night two of my best girlfriends and I made plans to go out to dinner and then let the night take us where ever it wanted. We called a cab because when you “let the night take you where ever it wants to” it’s always best to leave your car at home…just trust me on this one. While waiting for the cab and trying on everything in each other’s suitcases we managed to consume 3 bottles of wine. We were feeling (as my friend Tony the Tiger would say) GGGRRRRRREAT!
Our cab drive Tyrone was right on time; we were running about 10 minutes late. So Tyrone, who looked like a linebacker for the Steelers, was kind enough to turn on the meter and wait. By the time we got outside we had racked up $7 on the meter and were running about 15 minutes behind. Anyone who knows me knows I am obsessed with punctuality, so by the time we were piling into the cab I was getting antsy. This feeling was only aggravated by the fact that our friendly cab driver Tyrone seemed to be driving particularly slow and to my dismay hitting every red light in Downtown Indy. I was trying to have fun and ignore the clock but between my compulsion to say everything that pops in my brain and the whole bottle of wine I had consumed my smart mouth was about to get the best of me….or the worst, you can make that call.
I look at my watch and realize we are officially 25 minutes late to our reservation just as Tyrone hits another red light. This is the exact moment that I decide to utter the most “I’m a 31 year old woman that spends too much time with men and occasionly talks like a truck driving after too many Jack Daniels” comment that I have ever allowed to pass my lips - And I quote…“Tyrone…can’t you speed it up? We got drinks to buy and sluts to fuck.”
Yup folks, I said it. I have no idea where it came from and I think no one else in the cab did either. There was a moment of silence and then Tyrone busted out laughing and stated, in his questionable use of the English language, “Girl, you funny!” As we pulled up to our destination Tyrone shoo’ed away my money and told me that I had just made his night and the cab ride was free. He also gave me his card and told me to call him the next time I needed a ride because a tiny white girl with a foul mouth was always welcome in the back of his cab.
Moral of the story? Sometimes saying exactly what is on your mind can get you in trouble but sometimes it saves you $16.75 in cab fare and helps you make a new friend named Tyrone.
