January232011
I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Marriage.
It’s such a huge word that it alone deserves to be a sentence. I personally have never been married and don’t know if I ever want to be. I think marriage might be as dated of an idea as the stained glass windows of the churches they do it in. Of course I want the big party. I want to wear the beautiful dress and hold a bouquet of flowers (I mean how often do you get to do that??). Without a doubt I want the gifts, the parties, and the honeymoon. I could go on and on about how I want everything that surrounds a wedding, but the marriage itself …ummmmm, I’d like what’s behind door number two, Pat!
But as my friends have dropped like flies I have begun to question my non-marriage logic. I mean yes I have cared deeply for boys and thought that they could change my mind about marriage, some day I may want kids…maybe, and I do feel that all kids deserve a stable home. I would never have a kid without being married. Another thing is I’ve held off on buying a home because I figure one day I’ll meet someone I want to live with and we will buy a home together…so obviously I haven’t even convinced MYSELF that this logic is without flaw.
And let’s be honest, some people are just made to be married, like my old roomie Meg. She is getting married this Saturday and she is just one of those people that “should” be married. Hell she has been talking about it for as long as I have known her. Some people just don’t completely find themselves until they find the person they want to spend their life with. For those people I say full steam ahead on the marriage boat!
As for me…..
I figure while I hang out in my early 30’s (not really single but certainly not anywhere near walking down the aile) the best thing I can do is try and better myself. I want to be able to offer the best “me” possible when that person I think I couldn’t live without comes-a-knockin. I’ve been reading a lot of books on relationship and recently started to read The 5 Love Languages. It’s a great book and truly makes sense but the more I read it the more I realize that this shit is complex! It’s one thing to know that marriage is challenging (duh) it’s a whole other thing to realize that you and your partner don’t even speak the same language!
Of course marriage has it’s perks but on the downside you are tied to someone for the rest of your life who, at the end of the day, might just love you…. not be in love with you. It’s either that or you become so wrapped up in the wedding, marriage, kids, white picket fence of it all that it becomes all you can talk about. There is no longer a “you” because “you” have become a wife and a mother and that is all you know. I sort of like “me”. I have spent 30 years cultivating myself and trying to find my little niche in the world. I am far from perfect but the majority of the time I like the way my mind works and how I live my life. And I’m not ready to give that all up…not now…not ever.
So does that answer your question? Yeah, I figured not.
